DCLnews Special Report ;-)

IT firms tighten security to deal with new threat - baboons...
Scientists are astonished by baboons' skill with computers - and hi-tech firms fear jobs will be lost from executive level down as a result, writes DCLnews Editor, John E. Shreeve (pictured)...

SCIENTISTS TRAINED TWO BABOONS to use a personal computer and were astounded by the results. The baboons could understand and recognize small similarities between different images - an ability considered to be the benchmark of complex reasoning and intelligence. Not surprisingly, the findings - by researchers from France and the United States - have sent shockwaves throughout the technology and IT world.

Companies across America are tightening security to make sure no-one (for no-one read baboons) just wanders in to their premises off the street. Admittedly, the terrorist threat forms part of the reason for this. But the big fear, DCLnews can reveal, is of baboons gaining entry and taking over key jobs from technical personnel.

Widespread panic hasn't yet broken out in the tech world - but the results of the scientific research indicate there is serious cause for concern.

PC & joystick
The studies, led by Joel Fagot, of the Center for Research in Cognitive Neuroscience in Marseilles, and Edward Wasserman, of the University of Iowa, involved training two adult baboons to use a PC and joystick. The baboons were then familiarized with a screen containing a four-by-four grid. Each space in the grid contained a different image, such as a house, a sun, an arrow, a light bulb and a train.

Next, the animals were presented with two screens. The first was similar in design to the original, but contained different images, such as a clock, a hand and a triangle. The other still had 16 squares, but each contained the same item, such as a flower or a telephone.

Foundation of human reasoning & intelligence
When the baboons moved the joystick to select one screen or the other, they were rewarded with food for choosing the one with the same pattern as the original. This tested whether they could learn the similarity between patterns, even though the contents were different. After many hours of experiments, the baboons were regularly selecting the correct image. To be able to discern subtle similarities between different images is viewed by many theorists as being the foundation of human reasoning and intelligence.

Widespread concern
The results of the studies were published on October 15th in the Journal of Experimental Psychology - to widespread concern in the technology world. An insider from the IT world (who asked to remain anonymous) said: "This is the biggest threat to America since Elvis took up acting in movies. Jobs could be lost from executive level down. We all believed we were the most intelligent species on the planet."

But an economist (who also asked to remain anonymous) said that baboons taking over wouldn't effect the economy and might even push it into an unprecedented level of growth. The only problem being that the baboons would have all the jobs and be reaping all the rewards...

John E. Shreeve
DCLnews Editor

Just so you know I'm not making this up (well, at least not all of it), visit the London Times to view the full story:
http://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/0,,2-2001355637,00.html

And if you see any strange, quirky, or just plain funny, items from the news, send them to me at DCLnews@dclab.com