Beavers Are Not Rock & Roll Fans

Last time I was in the US on vacation (I live in the UK), I had an experience that led me to doubt my sanity. I was out in the wetlands of Florida and had parked up for a break from driving. There wasn't a living soul for miles, so I'd got my window wound down and was sipping a beer and listening to Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers very loudly on the stereo.

And then there was a loud BANG!!! on the hood of my car...

I jumped out of my skin so hard my head nearly went through the roof. But I soon calmed down when I saw that it was only a talking beaver jumping up and down on the the hood. I say "talking" beaver, but to be more exact he was a shouting beaver.

"Turn that goddamn music down, will ya?" my furry friend screamed. "Us beavers hate rock & roll - it's a tuneless noise. And, besides, some of us are tryin' to git some sleep around here!"

I quickly turned the music down. But wondered if someone had slipped something in that beer I was drinking. Was I hearing things? I really believed beavers liked rock & roll - didn't you? After all, beavers look pretty much like rock stars with all that hair and whiskers (the late and great Jerry Garcia springs to mind), so you naturally assume they're into rock music...

But a recent ABC7 News item revealed that what the beaver said was true - they really don't like rock & roll.

ABC7 News reported that a group of beavers in Tallahassee, Fl, are being driven out of wetlands by rock music blared at them by a construction company that wants the critters to stop building dams. The dams are interfering with development.

Since January, county officials and the builders have been trying to find a way to get rid of the beavers. The animals have built dams that block a storm water system for a new store at the development site. Crews tore down the dams, but the beavers kept rebuilding them.

Perhaps someone remembered how in 1989 the U.S. military blasted General Noriega with rock & roll while he was holed up in the Vatican Embassy in Panama, and thought it might work with beavers too.

One thing is certain, I missed my chance for a big consultancy fee. I could've told them beavers don't like rock & roll - after all, I'd heard it from the beaver's mouth...

John E. Shreeve
DCLnews Editor

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And if you see any strange, quirky, or just plain funny, items from the news, send them to me at dclnews@dclab.com